Saturday, October 28, 2006

it's encompassing

Why the fuck am I awake at 7:30 on a Saturday morning? I remember when I was in high school I could sleep in until 3 in the afternoon. Now, I'm not saying that I'd still like to sleep that long, that's excessive, but I also don't want to wake up this early. I don't have many plans today and I certainly don't need to get a jump on them. Being awake this early just gives me more time to stew on how I don't have any plans. At least let me sleep away some of that uncomfortable time.

I had a bit of a crying fit when I got home from work yesterday and in the middle of it my roommate knocked on my door and without waiting for a reply, opened it and poked her head in my room (at that time I was thankfully taking a pause from crying so that's good, but I was also in my underwear, kneeling in front of my mirror, staring at myself, so that's, um, bad?). What an awkward moment. She had just come to tell me that she bought me some more hummus because she had eaten mine. Then she apologized because she thought I had said "come in," which I don't know how she heard that since when she knocked I went totally still but then she asked if she had interrupted me. I looked at her pointedly and said, "Yes."

Most of the time I was having this fit, which included the need to strip down to my skivvies, in the back of my head I was wishing that I had a video camera that I could have set up in the corner and recorded the whole thing. I was repeatedly walking in front of my mirror because I knew my body was doing odd things that were only semi under my control. I would have liked to watch that from the outside. Which might go to show that even while I'm having horrible anxiety and self-esteem issues I'm still a complete narcissist. Is that weird? I know one person who'll think it is. The other day I was telling him about a film I was going to go see and he asked if it was called Chop Your Balls Off and Make A Soup, The Motion Picture. I think that's as accurate a way as any to describe the kind of art that attracts me. Funny too.

I'm still not back in bed.

Why won't that fucking link work?!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

For some reason, it has your blog's url address and then his blog address (which is pretty funny, if you ask me. Why do you and MNS have such cool friends?).

Just go back to the edit screen, highlight the link and this time paste his link and make sure that you erase yours this time. While you are at it, feel free to erase this stupid-ass comment.

Isaac said...

How lovely, after establishing you as a heavily featured character on my blog, to finally be mentioned. Never mind how libelous it is.

Kisses!

Goodbye Blue Monday said...

Libelous, shmibelous, but also, it was my arms in that bucket, not yours, so don't you go talking about narcissism Mr. Mister. I know you had other plans for yourself but still.

I would definitely go to that movie.

ipj said...

It turns out that problem with the link was between Safari and Blogger. The add a link option was not present in my Safari browser at home so I thought I'd be sneaky and just add in my own html code to create a link but apparently Blogger doesn't like that. It thinks it's smarter than me.