Books=Love

"You read books to escape from life." This was said to me one day in a semi-accusatory fashion. I was arguing the opinion that many gay men (but this applies to everyone, it's just that we were discussing gay men) constantly go to clubs to relieve their minds from thought, to flee reality. My friend had that quote as a retort. He declared that I used reading as a way to avoid social interaction. That's true. But as I was waiting for the train last night I realized that in a lot of ways books are much better than people. I'm not necessarily avoiding people, I'm just choosing the more interesting of the two options. I've read a lot of books I like and some I think highly enough of to actually own and plan on keeping for the rest of my life. There aren't many people I can say that about. It's not that I dislike people, I like my friends, I like my family, it's just that books often offer so much more than the random human exchange. A good book is a much better friend than some person I might talk to at a bar. A book absorbs you into its world, a world of insight, subtly and profound thought. A world of humor and fantasy. It's all in your hand and you can adapt it to youself. Some people I know will just never understand me, we get along fine but we lack that easy exchange that signifies a lasting friendship. If I'm not interested in a book it goes back on the shelf, no hesitations, people on the other hand don't like it when you just walk away from them. Maybe I'll change my mind when everyone starts wearing dust jackets. Trend setting.

Apology

To everyone: I've taken everything out of my past blogs that I viewed as being extra mean. Someone recently pointed out to me what a complete bastard I was in college and I have to say that he was right. I really was a bastard. So I've taken out everything I regret putting in (unless it had to do with my sisters, they deserve everything they get). I've still left some snotty snot comments but really all I'm mostly doing is complaining and saying that I don't like people plus those blogs also contain info about my college life that will be interesting in a few years to go back and read and say, "Woah."
Besides which this blog is mostly for me anyway so I can go back and view what kind of person I use to be and how I thought.

Comeuppance

As my boss says, "They'll have their own personal place in hell."

Fun Times

I was playing the concertina and missed hearing the phone ring! Twice! That makes me pretty darn happy.

D.A.B

I want to be a bun-head
and wear pointe shoes
I want to be a bun-head
gonna pay my dues
Plie, tendu, jete, battement
fouette, fouette, fouette, fouette

This is a good little song to sing to yourself when you get stuck walking behind some dumbass ballerinas. It helps keep you from yelling at them.

When Ida first sang me this song she order it: tendu, plie, jete, battement. I pointed out to her and plie should really be first because then the song would follow the order of a ballet class. She agreed but now she can't ever remember which one comes first. Happy Birthday.

Seemed like a good idea

Even if it seems like a good idea to eat part of a donut at 2:30 in the morning right before you go to bed DON'T. You'll wake up with nasty mouth, a disgusting disease that can plague even the best of us. Also, don't smoke cigarettes at 2 either. Even if you eat an entire apple afterward you'll still smell like smoke. AND if you've recently had bronchitis you'll also be coughing up crap the next morning. And don't read a book that doesn't seem to be going anywhere about some guy who's losing his mind while you're freezing under your blankets and the roof's about to cave in from the weather.

Bored

I don't much care for gay.com for a variety of reasons. A) #1 it's lame. B) #2 the chat function doesn't work on Gillian's computer. C) #3 I don't need lots of ads featuring beautiful men in skimply clothing staring at me all the time making me feel awful about my body. D) #4 It may have some pertinent information about current gay issues but they're so drenched in crappy gay gay gay crap that I don't have the patience to try to find them.

And no you stupid lady, I won't make an exception. I don't care if you've been subscriber for the past two years, you missed the deadline by a month. And don't give me that "well, really only 27 days" crap, that's close enough to a month. And why should I make an exception for you when you got your tickets months ago and are only calling with your question now? And if I give you the free ticket shouldn't I really give one to everyone else too? Why don't we just make everything free? Stupid lady.

Maybe not that funny

So I've started up my blog again despite having talked with Erin about how kind of embarrassing it is to post my personal thoughts where everyone can read them. I still think that's true but I did enjoy looking back at my previous entries because they made me think, "Hey, I'm a funny guy. And if no one else thinks so then at least I'll be able to read this in a year and make myself laugh." Unfortunately I'm no longer involved with stupid ballerinas and other such dumbasses where they offer a multitude of things to make fun of. That's not to say I'm no longer involved with stupid people, these people are just only stupid and will be hard to make fun of especially because they're continually stupid in the same way. But I'll do my best.

Do you think it's lame to not go out for a drink because your throat hurts and you might be getting sick and instead go home and eat a bunch of brownie batter while watching episodes of Futurama that you've already seen? I can't decide. That's either lame or great. I think when I do it it's lame but if someone else told me that that's how they spent their Friday night I would love them for it. Probably because it would validate my Friday night.

Speaking of which, on to the brownie batter. It's been callin' me.

Transparent

I had a dream the other night that humanity was suddenly divided into different castes and of course I was at the complete bottom. The lowest people were believed to be germ ridden and were the work force of the planet. We all lived in these huge apartment buildings and had to be inspected before we were allowed in. It was really depressing and upsetting but also interesting. We weren't allowed to own money either. Instead we had these cards that had "money" programmed into them, sort of, that we had to use to buy things. These cards only allowed us to buy things from vending machines, we couldn't ever buy anything nice. Some people were trying to start protests but there were only about twenty of them in the whole city, which was a mix between Paris and Seattle. Plus, those protestors were beaten all the time. So even though the work force was much bigger than the upper classes (about 10 to 1) we wouldn't do anything to try to get out of our situation. This pretty much sounds like any 1984 Anthem Metropolis movie but we were in color.
Then the dream suddenly changed and I had sex with this really really really cute guy.

"Look at me! I'm a stupid baby! I roll around and lead with my head and never get hurt because I'm super flexible and have plenty of fat."
Stupid babies and their perfect alignment. Hmph.

sigh and yawn
How many times do I have to write about my aesthetics? I mean, sure I like talking about them, usually, but when I have to write about them it often turns into a rant about how much I hate Utah and how I'm frustrated by my schooling. This doesn't go over so well when I'm writing for one of my teachers. For part of this assignment I have to write 5 artistic beliefs and 5 things I artistically do not believe in. I do not believe in god, artistically of course. Can I get away with that? So here are some of the things that I'd like to write but probably won't (well, maybe just a few).

I do not believe:
-ballet has any artistic value
-everyone has a valid opinion
-anyone should have a post-show discussion (especially idiots)

I do believe:
-having a small number of male dancers is a very bad thing. Not because I think more people should dance but because the ratio of good dancers to mediocre is like 1 to like, you know six or so. So for every one good female dancer there are six boring ones which isn't too bad since there are a lot of them. But when there's only one good male dancer there are six more out there who aren't so good. Now let's say that the number of really good male dancers in the USA is 1000 (that's probably a little small but my opinion of what's good is pretty limited). That's means there are 6000 dopes trying to get into dance companies or worse yet choreographing on their own. That's a whole lot of bad dance. So how often are you going to see a great male dancer?
-choreographers should have someone besides their best friend watch their piece before showing it to the public
-contact improv jams are stupid (c'mon, they're called "jams" ooh, we are so cool)
-dance should never be associated with "our lord Jesus Christ"
-people should shut the fuck up

Fuckin' "Artists"
oh angry angry

Something Stupid

You know those times when something trivial happens and it ruins your whole day? Well, I lost my keys yesterday and I feel like everything is falling apart. Suddenly I think my choreography sucks, everyone hates me, I don't want to go to school and I'm crying a lot. Just because I lost my keys. Come back lost keys, I need you in my life.

I know my sister already posted a link to this website but I think people need to go to it again. Plus some of you went to it when it only had the stupid holiday special episodes. So try going there now. My favorite is the featured episode, it has cute pink and yellow bunnies. I love them.

Angry Angry

I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh! this morning (yes, the exclamation point is actually part of the title) and had to fight this mage guy and he had monster with like 3700 attack points! Can you believe it?! My strongest monster only has 2800 attack points. I lost.

That's the best I could do. Some things will never go away, especially when I'm a stuborn fucking bastard.

I'm going to Costco to buy a cheesecake. They're yummy and I'm thin.

Come forth!

So before I left to come to Seattle I was really getting into playing the Yu-Gi-Oh video game on my playstation. Okay, it does have really lame graphics and I also press the skip button whenever I battle opponents because it takes fuckin forever but still I was really getting addicted to it. It's really fun because you get to pretend you're in the cartoon and yell things like, "I combine Fairy of the Water Dragon with Morphing Jar to create Mystical Sand! Come forth and destroy my enemies!" or "I play Changing Mirror in defense mode." Stuff like that. Of course, it's only fun if someone else is in the room that also likes the cartoon show and knows what you're talking about (like your roommate, even though really you're the only one who wants to get up at seven in the morning to watch it) For everyone who hasn't seen Yu-Gi-Oh it comes on everyday at 4:30 on WB and at 7:00 and 10:00 on Saturdays Utah time and 8:00 and 11:00 Washington time. This Saturday contains an hour and a half of it. Now really, what do you usually do Saturday mornings?

I hate children, especially when they're wearing tap shoes and singing Christmas songs

I'm stuck at the Marriott Center for Dance "working" a show for Thompson/Lane Dance Academy. It's quite pathetic. Not only are all the dances incredibly cheesy and oh so for mormon mom and dad sometimes the kids have to sing too. And they really can't. I just cringe every time one of them walks up to the microphone. Poor children, stupid parents.

One more question, perhaps the most important.

I hate:

a) all of god's creatures
b) commies
c) breasts

Since Erin thinks she's so smart I made my own quiz that you can take here
That'll show 'er.

So, like, don't you think it's awkward when you're in the grocery store and you run into one of your teachers that you haven't talked to since you wrote them that completely insincere (but they probably didn't know) apology letter and then said teacher's husband walks up who's also a faculty member sort of and also received the same letter and everyone's acting all nice and happy even though you're thinking "i wonder what they're thinking, i haven't spoken to them in almost two weeks since i gave them those apology letters."
Don't you think that would be awkward. I did.

SHAKUJO
I'm trying to make these staff things for my senior piece that buddhist monks use to use. I'm not sure why. They just look cool. And plus every cool spell caster in Japanimation always has one so they're supposed to enhance your spiritual power or something. I'm mostly just having fun making props and costumes for my dancers. Choreography? That's not really important now is it? Anyway I wanted to make these staffs five feet high but the wood dowels size that I want to use only comes 4 feet high. But my boss is convinced that he's used dowels that were longer than that so I called about 20 lumber, craft and hardware stores yesterday until I was about to cry because everybody was mean and treated me like an idiot for even asking if they had longer dowels and of course none of them did and I don't think anyone does and my boss is probably wrong so I finally got so fed up that they're now just going to be four feet high. Stupid lumber stores. All smelly and shit.

boy trouble
My step-sister Alise is probably going to come stay with me this weekend. Her flight home for Christmas leaves out of Salt Lake and she's in Rexburg, Idaho. I don't know why she's flying out of Salt Lake, I'm sure that was my dad's doing, I would just say screw it. So she called me up the other day and asked if she could stay with me because her only other option would be her biological dad and he's crazy (I've met him. I had to have dinner with him and my step-family, including his ex-wife and my dad, her new husband. God that sucked. Not only was there so much tension but I constantly wanted to smack him because he kept making subtle knocks at my dad. Of course Dad just kind of ignored them but also said things to make the other guy realize he was always in the wrong which my dad is great at, he does it to everyone). So she's going to stay with me for a couple of days. She'll probably want to go to church on Sunday but I'll be damned (hmm) if I'll go with her. Unfortunately I do know where the nearest church is to my house but I have no idea what time it starts nor do I know how to find out. So she's on her own. I think it's probably a good thing she's staying with me for a while because when she called the other day we talked for like a half hour which is a long time for me. She mostly complained about her dating troubles. Not that she's having trouble dating but that her mom is driving her crazy with overbearing concern. When Alise and I finished talking she just sighed and thanked me for letting her get so much off her chest. Her sister and her mom have been criticizing her so much and she just feels like she can't turn to anyone because they're the people she usually turns to. So when she's here I'll have about two days to straighten her out.
so damn cute
I woke these past two nights to a little surprise. I was sort of curled up in bed facing the wall and opened my eyes around six a.m. And my little kitten was sleeping right next to my chest. She was all stretched out on her back, just laying there. I wanted to puke she's so cute.

bad Ian, bad (slap slap)

How many times have I been called into the office of the Chair of the Department of Modern Dance? Five? Six? Seven? Hell, I don't even know anymore. And why was I always such a good kid through elementary and high school (except for totally faking being sick whenever I had a test) and now I have to talk to the principal all of a sudden? Is it my repressed confrontational attitude finally coming out? No. Everyone is just stupid. Anywho, it's a miracle I haven't been kicked out of this department yet.

And on a lighter note, my piece isn't going to ACDFA. Oh yeah, I had a dance piece that was going to go to the American College Dance Festival Association in Bellingham but...now it's not. And apparently all my teachers (ALL, according to my department chair) are fed up with my attitude and conduct in class, even the ones who I haven't even interacted with this year. I guess they've hated me all these years and just never said anything. At least that's the impression I got.

Hooray for me. I'm on my way to making it in the world!