When I arrived home around 11PM last night and opened the cupboard to put away some soy milk I had bought I noticed that my peanut butter was nearly gone. That's not how I left it. I immediately went to my room, grabbed a sheet of paper, left my passive-aggressive note on the stove and went to bed. Before I fell asleep I heard one of my roommates come home and when I got up this morning the note was gone. That's too bad, because it was for both of them. I also took my chips out of my room and put them back in the kitchen, you know, as a temptation. We'll see what happens.

I had only been at the pilates studio this morning for about 10 minutes before the cops showed up. Apparently the alarm had gone off. I thought something was weird with the alarm but since I was able to deactivate it and now it says "Ready" I figured everything was fine. Guess not. After telling me that I needed to contact the alarm company one officer said, in a condescending tone, "So what, this place is filled with girls and the other one is for guys?" (There's a gritty boxing studio right across the hallway.) I gave him a mixed skeptical/incredulous look and said, "No, men come here too. What do you think I am?" Which I immediately realized was not the right thing to say. I pretty much expected him to respond, "Not a man." It was definitely in their eyes, particularly the 2nd officer's. I should have said, "And there are plenty of women at the boxing studio too, all of whom could kick your ass."