time for a change?

I have a small hole in the underwear I'm wearing. It's very teeny, on the side of my right hip right near the band. It's so tiny you would never have noticed it, if I hadn't accidentally slipped my finger through and ripped it open another inch. Is it time for new underwear? I'm not so sure.

You know the old standby from mom?

"Make sure you have on nice, clean underwear. You might get in an accident and taken to the hospital and you don't want to be embarrassed by your undergarments."

Didn't your mom ever say that to you? Neither did mine. But anyway.

Here's the problem. If I were ever in an accident and had to be rushed to the hospital, my shitty (so to speak), holey underwear would probably be the last thing on my mind. On the other hand, if I walked around wearing cute new expensive underwear and got in an accident and had to be rushed to the hospital, my cute new expensive underwear would definitely be the first thing on my mind because it would probably get fucking ruined.

Now I'm not saying I don't wash my underwear, because I do. I'm just not overly concerned about a hole right now. But when you visit me in the hospital, I think you know what gift to bring me.

That's right: socks.