When I woke up this morning I decided that my task for today was would was would

I've changed my mind. My task for today is to work on my grammar.

I decided my task for today would be to make a list of what I love and what I hate about my life. Does anyone see where this is going? While I was "making" breakfast I began the list in my head but after about a minute I realized it was just going to make me unhappy. My list of pros took about 15 seconds to flesh out but my list of cons seemed unending. I had to stop. I had already been pretty upset and despondent over the role of art in my life and, more specifically, the role of my life in art. I couldn't see my life changing in any way to allow myself to become the artist I want to be. It's scary and deeply depressing. I think part of the problem is that I like to take safe "risks." I can't talk about that anymore, at least not in the blogging forum.

So here's the thing that I'm excited about and alluded to earlier. I'm going to be in a pilates machine certification course. And I don't have to pay! That's really the best part. I'm at the pilates studio right now typing this. The owner prefer to call it a fitness lab. It's not a gym (I agree) but it's more than a pilates studio so: fitness lab. That's just hard for me to say. In return for free certification I owe them 300 hours of my life, starting last Sunday. I'll be "working" here until about next December. I'm working the front desk and let me tell you, I work it, baby. Meaning I bull shit prospective clients hoping they won't discover that I don't know what I'm talking about. I really don't. I've never attending any of the classes here, nor met any of the personal trainers. The thing I'm best at is talking about pilates because even though I haven't seen anyone in action I know enough about the body in relation to pilates to sound pretty convincing. The actual classes for the certification haven't started yet, first one's this Tuesday. I'll let you know how it goes. But for now I'm enjoying myself. Sitting alone in a sunny large studio reading and listening to whatever music I want. Sounds great huh?