Wednesday, January 03, 2007

randomized

Remember how I needed to wash my pants? Well, I decided that yesterday was finally going to be the day. I got home, made some pasta (even though I really wanted to each nachos but I thought I needed a change because I have literally had nachos for dinner every single day for the past 8 or 9 days, literally), noticed that the America's Next Top Model Mega-Marathon was on and promptly got high and plopped myself on the couch. "I'll do it in the morning," I thought. But here I am at work today, sitting in my black Carharts (farmer jeans, most definitely not included in my regular wear) that are too baggy.

I think I need to get out of New York for a while. Like for a week. I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish this but I'm really starting to dislike this place, or to be more specific, the people of this place. Lately, whatever block I'm walking down I see at least two people that I want to kick. Hmm, I had to pause for a minute after that last line and think about why I wanted to kick everyone and I realized that this post is starting a thought process that I don't want to follow. Let's change the subject.

In the book I'm currently reading there's a character who's a guerrilla fighter in Greece during WWII. The chapters describing his thoughts and the activities of the group he belongs to are so far the most interesting and disturbing, which may be why I find them interesting. His group kill a lot of fellow Greeks and perform other horrendous acts of violence, all justifiable, in their minds. The idea that a person can so wholly believe that his actions are right that he can ignore the atrocities he has committed frightens me. I so want to believe that that type of person cannot exist. That within everyone, no matter how cruel they appear to be, there is always a part of the mind that says, no, something is wrong. I don't know if that's true though. Perhaps certain circumstances can erase that part of a person's conscience. I'm not even going to start making comparisons to certain persons of today, you can probably do that yourself.

1 comment:

Goodbye Blue Monday said...

Though it's amazing the things we can justify doing to ourselves, without conscience...will conscience hit later and make us regret? I kind of don't think so. Interesting thought though, unless it makes you want to kick me.