my eyes hurt

And I'm pretty sure it's from the giant cookie I just ate. My body seems to be particularly susceptible to sugar lately. I'll be feeling fine but as soon as I eat something sweet I almost immediately start to feel like I'm getting a cold. Maybe I'm on overload and my body is trying to tell me something. This has happened before and I find the reaction time of the body fascinating.

I'm at work and had to take a little break (from knitting). I'm working, and have been working, on a scarf for Parfait to match the two hats I made him. I've been going with this kind of patchworky type thing and I can't tell if it's working out or not.

Here's the part I'm currently working on

And here's why I had to take a break


There are three different skeins I'm working with with a total of five lines coming off this damn scarf. It's a mess back there and I get frustrated easily.

Last night I went to see Kevin Augustine's Bride at PS122. I thought it was great and if you're around, go see it, tickets are only like $20 or something. It's so wonderful to see someone who obviously has a great love for their art form. There are cool and somewhat creepy puppets involved (including puppet dancing) and it's clear that he's really into what he does. There was obviously so much thought and work put into this production. When it first began there were quite a few questionable elements and I thought, "Oh god, this could be awful...or it could be great." By the middle of it I realized that the beginning totally made sense and appreciated it much more. I thought the ideas presented were interesting and while they didn't bowl me over, they were still clever and creative.

And in other news, I made Rice Kr*spie treats at work the other day...and again on Saturday. I saw a sickeningly sweet ad for them that morning on TV with a laughing family around the mixing bowl then found myself craving them a few hours later. Damn advertising, you caught me again! So I went over to a grocery store on my lunch break and bought the ingredients. But not before checking the office kitchen to make sure I had the proper tools. I melted the butter and marshmallows in the microwave then ended up using two giant plastic salad tongs to basically "toss" in the cereal. The salad tongs actually worked amazing well. The best part of the story is that as I was microwaving the butter the Senior Vice President, the Vice President of Operations and the Director of Operations (who work either on a different floor or in an entirely different building) walked into my floor's conference room, right across from the kitchen. I could hear them talking about the interior of the floor and kept hoping that they wouldn't walk into the kitchen. I quickly shoved the marshmallows and cereal (which I had measured into a water pitcher) over right next to the fridge so that they wouldn't be able to see them unless they walked all the way into the room. Then I just stood there looking at the microwave, pretending I was on my lunch break waiting for my food to get hot. They did end up poking their heads in but only their heads so thank god they couldn't see my stash or what I had in the microwave. Yes, technically I was on my lunch break but I still think it would look pretty unprofessional for the VP to catch me making a children's snack, no matter how cherished the memory.

for shame

I feel like a few select people might chastise me for this but...

Guess who came to the show at the theater tonight: Ryan Gosling.
Guess who didn't quite place the name when selling him tickets over the phone: me. As a result, I didn't tell anyone he was coming and the people in the box office were taken by surprise when he came to pick up his tickets. Honestly, I just figured it was someone with the name Ryan Gosling. Come on, that's not that unusual a name. I treated him like any patron, including getting his mailing address and phone number. And that's that.

my turn

Okay, I've been resisting doing this since I've fared so poorly at guessing everyone else's quotes but I'm bored at work and I don't feel like reading or knitting. tarak tagged me for this whole 15 quotes from your favorite movies, well, turns out my favorite movies don't have very good quotes listed on imdb.com. Also, a lot of my favorite movies are foreign and I don't trust whatever translation imdb was using. Or something like this kept happening:

You're staying home, the sun is shining, but it's raining.

Anyone? It's from Akira Kurosawa's Dreams. I love that movie but there's not a lot of talking. So I finally gave up on my favorite movies and decided to only concentrate on my favorite children's movies, even though they're not just for kids, 'cause I still love them today. So that's your clue. And I've only listed 10, this was starting to get tiring.

1. What? Never had gemstones in your craw?

2. Nothing? NOTHING? Nothing, tra la la?

3. Well, it's kind of hard to describe. It's like being next to a new loaf of bread.

4. Oh yes mustard! That'll do... Mustard?! Don't let's be silly.

5. Mouldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle and death.

6. Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had.

7. You who swallowed a falling star, o' heartless man, your heart shall soon be mine.

8. He has to give me a new name. He's already chosen it. He just has to call it out.

9. Lady H******, was it you who screamed 'AIEEE!?'

And finally, because I was running out of children's movies I threw in a sci-fi.

10. The spice must flow.

100

hours completed. Only 150 more to go before I'm certified as a Pilates Apparatus Instructor or something. I don't even know what I'll get to call myself then. It's probably going to take me another 6-7 months, judging by the rate I've going. I guess that's fine.

I'm not too in the mood to blog right now but here I am anyway. In fact, I'd rather be knitting. So I'm just going to say I:

• went to a good play
• am going to a questionable musical tonight
• am co-hosting a Star Wars related shin-dig
• will be seeing a puppetry related show soon
• spent a lot of money on books on Pilates
• spent a lot of money on the government (in the form of taxes)
• got worried about taxes for 2008
• upset Parfait
• had a long talk with Parfait
• called my mother for her birthday
• took hideous pictures of myself that I won't be posting
• took a picture of my giant mysterious bruise that I will be posting
• took a picture of myself exemplifying my lack of self control

How did this happen?!


The chocolate abortion eggies are back! We (my officemates and I) have been eating them like crazy for a week already. The other day I was being silly and started shoving a bunch of them in my mouth. After stuffing about 7 of them in there tarak looked at me and said, in her best cockney accent:
"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain."

Unfortunately this pic just makes it kind of look like my vomit consists of chocolate eggs. That's not so bad considering I shit Mississippi Mud pies.

And finally, after many boring tries, I took this picture and secretly put it as the desktop on Parfait's Blackberry.

Faith thinks I look like an angel, Isaac thinks I look dead inside. I think he means soulful.

Monday-ish

I know I promised to write about Hot Nude Yoga on Monday and it's now Friday but I've been busy. I just bought this book


and this one


and probably this one


and a bunch of yarn (was bought for me). So I'm itching for some knitting. Also, yesterday at the end of a Pilates session I told my client that I really liked his socks. He told me his aunt knit them for him and that she's apparently part of a bunch of knitting guilds in New York. I told him that I knit at which point he offered to give me his aunt's phone number. He said it totally wouldn't be weird for me to call her. So I'm gonna.

So. Hot Nude Yoga is literally the title of the place, not just a description of the classes. And yes, it was nude, it was yoga, but it wasn't all that hot. It definitely wasn't sexy, which isn't the point. The "hot" apparently refers to the temperature in the room and while there were two space heater revolving I wouldn't ever describe the room as hot. It was pleasant but I was ready to sweat. I was expecting some Bikram type heat, I wanted to sweat. But no.

Anyway, I arrived and decided to walk up to the fourth floor to the studio. On the way I kind of started thinking about something else and lost track of what floor I was on. I thought I'd come to the right door but wasn't sure so I went up one more flight of stairs and came upon the roof door. So I went back down and called the elevator, pressed the 4th floor button when I got on and waited. The elevator didn't go anywhere so I figured I must be on the fourth floor so went back out and gingerly tried the door (there's only 1 door per floor). It was locked. Okay. Down I went one flight and tried that door. It opened into the studio. I don't know how I got mixed up. As I walked in there was a wall right in front blocking off the majority of the studio. In front of the wall was a small space with places for shoes and bags (and clothes, of course). I was greeted by a man who asked me my name and if I had ever been there before. I told him no as I pulled out my yoga mat. He remarked that I must have done a lot of yoga though because my mat was so well worn. (My roommate gave it to me a while ago because it was old and she was just going to throw it away, it totally has pressed in dirt from probably years of downward dog.) I laughed and told him that I'd actually never taken an official yoga class but I used the mat for Pilates. As we were speaking a completely naked man walked out from behind the wall, retrieved a water bottle from his bag and returned from whence he came.

So I stripped down, grabbed my water (coconut), towel, crappy mat and walked around the wall. There were five naked men sitting on yoga mats, a couple were talking. I walked over, spread out my mat and sat down. A few minutes later the instructor (who was the same guy who greeted me at the door) came in, also nude, and introduced himself. Then I took class. There's really not that much to tell, even all the stuff before this I've really tried to flesh out and make interesting. I never felt turned on at all and actually quite enjoyed taking class nude. I was slightly self-conscious at first but after a while it just didn't enter my head anymore that I was nekkid. And we even did a lot of partner work. There was even some butts pressing against each other while we did some bent over work. But really, no big deal. I'll say I actually was a little nervous about the possibility of getting hard in class and their website even addresses that but the atmosphere was completely non-sexual (this was also at 7:30AM).

I took another class Wednesday night. This one was for beginners but I didn't enjoy it as much. There were more people and more philosophy was inserted into class. I have a hard time with a lot of yoga philosophy because it often starts to sound like religion and I just can't get behind that. I'd rather use yoga as a way to open up my muscles and body rather than as a way of living. Maybe that will change some day, who can say? For now, if I continue, I'll use the classes as time to apply principles I'm learning in my Alexander Technique lessons.

So that's it. Not too exciting huh? I'm sorry. If anything exciting/crazy happens I'll write about it but I don't know if I'll go back or not. Each class is $20! I don't know if it's worth the extra $5-$8 just to take my clothes off.

hot. nude. yoga.

I think the title says it all. But I'll elaborate on Monday.

you say love, I say performance art*

I became a member of PS 122 at the Stage Manager level today. I initially went over to their website to buy 2 tickets to this but since those tickets were $20 each and the lowest membership was just $60 which would give me two free tickets and a year subscription to Time Out New York and discounts on other upcoming shows I figured I should just join. Of course, I actually ended up joining at the next highest level so that I could get the member discount on two tickets per show (instead of just 1) and because I like PS 122 even though I've only been to one performance there with my dad, which we thought was terrible and had us both making snarky comments throughout (that's partly where I get it). So I guess what I really mean is that I like the idea of PS 122, so I might as well support them. Plus, I'm hoping that by joining I'll go to more stuff, so as to get the full benefit of my membership. So if you want to go to something there and don't want to pay their outrageous ticket prices ($20 for a ticket?! Unbelievable! I could see 1/17th of a Broadway show for that!) let me know and we can go together with my discount. Woot.

By the by, I bought the tickets as a Valentine's Day surprise for Parfait. Originally I told him the surprise was going to be more funny-awkward than exciting (I almost scored some free tickets to Legally Blonde) but since that fell through I guess I'll just have to settle for disturbing. Dark puppetry screams Valentine's doesn't it? And the performance is in March. Surprise!

And why the fuck hasn't spellcheck worked on blogger for like, a week?

*Please don't misinterpret this. I am not in love. Besides, you're the one saying it.

sugar rush

New cupcake post here. We've been to 14 places! I have one more post to put up before I'm caught up.

sigh

I think I need to go back into therapy. I know I've said that before and I keep considering it but then life seems to be okay, until I actually start to think about it.

thus:

ipj and Isaac are having an animated discussion about sex, love, intimacy and anything else that pops up.

ipj: I'm never going to love anyone.
Isaac: God. You sound like a 7 year old boy pouting in his room. (arms folded) "I'm nevah gonna wuv anyone!"
ipj: I know!
Isaac: Then grow up!!
ipj: I don't know how!!!

hat(wo)

Another hat with bunny fur. I made this one for Parfait, he bought the yarn 'cause that shit is esspensive. Louise took the pictures with her spectacular IPhone. I made the design, with some misgivings as to the end result but I think it turned out okay.


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

more & more

Let's get this out of the way. I've been spending the last way too long trying to figure out how to embed a frickin' slideshow on my blog. I was able to easily create one through G**gle but the options it gave me combined with the layout of my blog made all the pictures either too tiny or cropped off at the side. So then I started searching around for other stuff and tried out F**ckr (which is not as user friendly as G**gle, let me tell you) but with that you can only create this lame-o badge thing. So then I did some more searching and found flickrSLIDR, which I actually will name because it worked. God, the whole process really gave me a headache (except for the SLIDR part, that was totally easy). Or maybe I just need to eat.

Now that that's done with, don't you want some more cute baby? I knew it! She's so awesome!


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

In that last photo I'm mimicking Nora's scowly face. No conscious muscle control!

formal

I can't believe I forgot but guess what else happened during my trip to Seattle?

I got/was given one of these:

How could I have forgotten?!

Click on it.

thank god for camera phones

It's been awhile, but I have a good reason: I've been visiting a baby! (And the rest of my family. [And I'm lazy.]) I really never thought I would be baby crazy but I am! She is so amazing. I even held her, willingly. And every time I went over to my sister's I kept asking to hold her. Did you know that babies are like nature's blanket? They're so warm. But I must say, while I think this kid is awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome, I'm still not that interested in other people's kids. Sorry. I just don't find babies that fascinating, unless they're related to me and are frickin' adorable. There definitely are exceptions (like for a lil' boy named Zach or a girl named Yuki, who I don't at all) but this is a pretty general rule. That being said I never really enjoyed random baby videos but here are some for you.

My niece Nora.

This one is pretty cute.


So is this one.


But this is my favorite.


During one of my visits, my sister and I sang Nora a little lullaby that may or may not have been lovingly lifted from one of our favorite childhood (and adulthood) movies. On my flight back to New York I paused in my knitting (making another hat, but sadly not for Nora), thought of Nora, started singing the lullaby and promptly began crying. My stay was much too short. Then I finished reading The View from Saturday by E.L. Konigsburg and cried some more. Then a little later I started thinking about how great her parents are and how they have lots of great friends and how awesome her relatives are and how she's going to grow up surrounded by so much love and the next thing I knew my eyes were once again watering.

And you know what else? She smells pretty good too. She's beautiful, even if she does have baby acne, which I never knew almost all babies got, did you?

So.



I couldn't decide.

questions

What could make two jaded grumpuses turn ecstatic?



Is the cameraperson holding a puppy (paying homage to a previous photo shoot)?

Are we really drunk?

Really high?

So in love with primary colors?

Faking it so there's some sort of documentation of us being happy?

Who knows.

second thoughts

Here's baby's first...

piece of ugly.

What the hell is that? I taught myself how to crochet a few days ago and thought for my first project I'd make a baby blanket for my new niece. So I hooked up a swatch just to see what different patterns looked like and, well, you saw the result. Now, I know the colors are pretty hideous together so maybe it's just the yarn but the more I crochet the more I'm reminded of ugly blankets that my grandmother used to have. Now, I loved my grandmother but wasn't enamoured with her sense of taste. Crocheting also reminds me of doilies that my aunts made and do I really want to introduce a brand new child to that? No. I'm starting to think that crocheting is the ghetto man's knitting. I wanted to crochet a giant heart in the middle of the blanket and while I know exactly how to do that with knitting I was told it would be better to overlay a heart on a crocheted blanket rather than try to incorporate it directly into the pattern. Bah! So many drawbacks. I'm going to try to crochet a new swatch with some better yarn and see if I change my mind but don't hold your breath. On the plus side, crocheting is less conspicious than knitting so while I still might be getting fucked on the subway, perhaps I can still pass as straight as long as I only have that hook in my hand instead of two needles. Because obviously 2=gay.

a new chapeau

Guess what?

I got a new haircut!

And maybe my sister had a baby or something.

Thank you Isaac for the crown and Kansas for the pic.

sage words

I emailed my mother one of those pictures of me in my hat. She loved it, of course. At the end of a recent email she sent, she referenced the picture once again with these parting words:

"You really are handsome. Really. Not that appearances matter, but... better lovely than not."

Yeah. Thank god.

it's natural

Last night during a Pilates session my client, in the middle of and while continuing to perform an exercise, suddenly stated, "You smell like pot."

"Wh-what?" I didn't know how else to respond. I assured her I was not high nor would I ever come to a session stoned. I didn't tell her that I actually hadn't smoked anything for months, I didn't think that would necessarily help my case. She knew that I wasn't high yet nevertheless, still thought I smelled like pot. She asked if I used any sort of special deodorant or toothpaste and I told her that I did use the Crystal. She figured that's what it was. She wasn't smelling pot, she was smelling me. I also didn't tell her that I hadn't even used the Crystal that day and had gotten pretty sweaty earlier in a ballet class. I told her I'd take care of it by our next session. That means it's time to shave my armpits again. I think her idea of the smell of pot is the same as grungy man sweat. So the next time you want a buzz just lick off my sweat, it's a great high. Or so Parfait tells me. Ugh. Did I mention we're back together?

me

I still don't know if I'm allergic or just getting sick. My throat has been hurting a little more lately but I've mostly only eaten peanut butter cups and Tostitos today so who can say the reason?

I will say that I slept soundly and warmly in my new hat.

Who's that guy?


It's me! Pasty anorexic face and all. When did that happen?


Just in case you missed it.


Awesome.


Those bunnies must be warm, yo. I walked outside today and it was mass windy but in my hat my head was toasty warm. And the yarn is so light I barely feel like I'm wearing it at all. Aren't bunnies the best? They're so precious. Way more precious than babies (cough).

In other news there's a sexy new guy starting the Pilates training program at the studio I work at in Brooklyn. I had to train him on front desk procedure this morning and totally got all gazy at his eyes. Or maybe more at his lips. He's German and a dancer. He has a sexy accent that I can still understand and danced with Pina Bausch for three years. Now I'm more jealous than infatuated. But of course he has a boyfriend. Sigh. That's fine.

unbelievable

I don't believe it. I was happy yesterday. Actually, genuinely, unexpectedly happy! Do you know what that feels like? Neither do I, 'cause it's gone now. But for a brief moment I did have that lovely experience. It came at the end of my Alexander technique lesson. I had been lying on a table for about 25 minutes having my limbs and muscles mysteriously and wonderfully manipulated and when I stood up, I couldn't help but smile. And this was a teeth-showing grin. For no reason other than that I was happy. Then I walked outside in the blistering cold and had some guy yell at me to donate money. That took a bit of it away.

In other news, I'm knitting a new hat and it's made out of bunny fur. It's so soft and lovely and furry. My throat has also been hurting lately. So my question is, am I getting sick or am I allergic to this yarn? I've already been pretty sick once this winter so I don't think it'd be fair to get sick again but I also don't want to have to get rid of my knitting. If it turns out I'm allergic then I just wasted about $45, but if I'm getting sick then I'll have to figure out how to get more sleep, in my new cute hat. Maybe I should stop rubbing it against my face every 10 minutes and stop eating brownie batter for dinner. Though that solution seems too obvious.

And in other other news, in my morning smoothie yesterday I used a lot of frozen strawberries. Then, a few hours later when I farted it smelled like strawberries. Stanky strawberries, but strawberries none the less. I swear. Now I can honestly say that my farts smell better than yours. But they do not bring all the boys to the yard. Or at least not the right kind of boy.