compensation

Scene the First

Someone sent me a message on friend*ster today. I haven't logged on there in months and completely forgot what I wrote. When I reread my profile it still seemed pretty accurate. Let me repost it for you here.

About Me:

I keep trying to write something about art but it's just not coming out at all. I think about art all the time. I started with dance but now I'm becoming more interested in performance art. Like yesterday I spent the entire day (meaning exactly 12.6 hours) staring at the nails in my bedroom wall until my eyes hurt so much I cried blood. My friends keep telling me that if I want to find a man that I should really change this section into something a little less creepy. I say that if a guy can't pick out sarcasm then we're already in trouble.

Who I Want to Meet:

Someone who also likes to give spontaneous ass slaps; there aren't enough of those in my life. Someone who has definite opinions, whatever they may be, and can handle that I have them too. Like if I told you I was going to make it my life's mission to destroy the oppressive, sexist power structure that is classical ballet, don't freak out. Just nod and say, "Oh, hmm, I may or may not agree with that...and here's why..."

See? Fits me, right? I was pretty impressed that he still sent me a message after reading that. And he encouraged my obsession with destroying ballet. He might also have just been emailing me because we share the same first name. Maybe he shares my secret desire to date someone with the same first name. Maybe he's also a complete narcissist. Not that I am.

I also liked rereading my profile because MNS left a comment that makes me laugh every time I see it, whether it's been a few months or just a few days. And here it is:

ipj is funny. He makes the weekends tolerable and makes me laugh so hard I
cry. Sometimes he just makes me cry. Sometimes after a day at work with ipj
I just go home and cry and cry and cry. That's part of his charm.

Scene the Second

I was doing some more critical thinking on the toilet the other day. I sometimes worry that I have these terribly annoying habits that drive my friends crazy but of which I'm completely unaware. But then I sometimes have that epiphanous moment where I realize just how annoying I could be but am not. For instance, there's a phrase that goes through my head each time I think or hear the word "eek." "Eek" popped in my head when I was doin' my business and I thought, "Thank god I never actually say this out loud. I would totally be that annoying guy at work." I'll never stop making that weird throat noise though. (For more info ask Ida, MNS, HL or YorN.)

Scene the Third

I was watching my clips last night (yes, porn clips and I'm going to stop and explain them for a moment because HL always makes fun of me for this but it'll help the story. I almost never watch full movies of porn online, only short 10-30 second clips. That's because the clips are free and I can't justify spending any of my dwindling money on aiding my sinful sinful daily/nightly/anytimely habit. HL sometimes lets me log on to one of his many accounts but really, I kind of prefer the short clips. The clips give me just enough to kick-start my fantasy/imagination. If I watch the full movie I get bored. The men always end up disappointing me in some manner; they're certainly no match for my lonely sex-starved mind. Back to the story.) and I was thinking, "Hey, that guy's pretty hot...and a little familiar looking. Hey, that guy on his knees looks familiar too. Hmm." The problem was I was watching amateur stuff with no close-ups and the lighting was pretty bad so the "actors" familiarity was only vague. At least they were familiar through their faces and not for other parts, give me some credit. I scrolled down to the bottom of the screen where there's more info on the featured clips and sure enough, I recognized the names of two of the five guys. I had slept with both of them (separately) in Seattle. Well, that certainly pulled on my heartstrings and made me miss the Northwest. Sigh.

Scene the Fourth

I've lost the blogging challenge. But, like laurenj, I have a good reason.

My life is boring.

Yes, going home and playing video games everyday does not make for good conversation, no matter how much my cousin might disagree. So I'm conceding to MNS. In my opinion (and through the rules we arbitrarily assigned) she's the winner. I may or may not (more likely) try to continue posting, we'll see. It's not like I don't have the time.